Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
