I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
