I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
