I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize