8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
PANTIES FOUND
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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