Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
There's even glitter on my cock...
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