In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
