I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
only if we run a train.
done.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize