You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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