pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I know her cup size but not her name....
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