her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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