"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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