Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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