when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
