its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
