who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
