He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
