She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
