i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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