I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair