he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
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Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
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another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals