i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls