If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!