HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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