Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
