i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize