this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
