At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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