bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
