1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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