I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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