I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
