Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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