I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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