i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
