Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
