remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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