but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
