it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Randomize
