why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
