i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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