please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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