when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
