Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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