Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize