I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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