if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
