as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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