I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
God, I missed his penis.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
