you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
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I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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