It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
