A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
