i just sent this text using only my big toe
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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