My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
