Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize