Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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