Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
