I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize