So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
