i may or may not be watching the land before time
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
