You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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