My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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