So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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